Emotional Baggage

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Causes A number of factors can cause emotional problems. Michele Ramsey, Associate Professor of Communication Arts and Sciences at Penn State Berks, emotional labor is often conflated with problem solving. Clip 5 of 9 The Ultimate Intervention: Shedding Emotional Baggage, Pt 3 Is emotional baggage keeping you from reaching your goals?

Accept it The first step to dealing with your emotional baggage is to admit that it does exist. Above all, be willing to be her friend.

3 Types of Emotional Baggage that Threaten Relationships

Though you've now been told for about the 37th time that It's not you, it's me, we're thinking it's time to consider the fact that it might, in fact, be you. And no, we're not insinuating that he broke up with you because of the way your hair frizzes up in the summer, or because you're always leaving Cheez-it crumbs in bed, or even because you sexted his mom by accident. What's really weighing you down, and effing up your love life, is all that emotional baggage. Those who have emotional baggage can oftentimes be riddled with self-doubt. What makes this self-doubt even worse is that, as you see the worst in yourself, you. If, for example, you're on a first date and feeling wary and quick to judge, you might automatically assume that your date is judging you just as harshly. This, in turn, could make you defensive. Way to kill the buzz before you've even shared your first toast, right. If you're experiencing negative feelings about the person you're with, ask yourself where these feeling are coming from. Could it be that you're making unfounded assumptions. We don't blame you for women with emotional baggage, especially if you've been burned in the past. Butyou have to trust each other. If you don't fully trust him — or even if you do and are just being cautious — your paranoia can manifest itself in some extremely unattractive ways: clinginess, neediness, andbreaches in privacy. No, we don't condone e-snooping of any kind. No man or woman, for that matter wants to feel as if he's under constant surveillance, especially if he did absolutely nothing to betray your trust. So keep your suspicions in check, unless he's done something that's actually worth worrying about. This goes beyond simple paranoia. It's more subtle and insidious. If you see him smile in a certain way or utter a certain phrase, and you immediately think of your abusive ex-boyfriend or that immature idiot you rebounded with or that unfortunate one-night stand, you're letting your past drag you unnecessarily down. Do you consistently find yourself souring on new dating prospects simply because of unfortunate similarities. It's important to remind yourself that he is not your ex. Try thinking, instead, of all the amazing qualities he has that your ex most certainly did not. We've written in the past about the secrets healthy couples shouldn't keep. This is because, in order to fully commit to each other, you should also know each other pretty darn well. Holding back on emotions or reliving painful events from the past in ways that women with emotional baggage your present can keep a relationship stagnant. So ask yourself: what have you been keeping from him, and why. Chances are,and we're sure he'd rather hear about it than be stonewalled. So, commitment-phobes are everywhere, and some of them aren't carrying an ounce of baggage. But in many cases, the fear of tying oneself down can be indicative of a deeper problem. If you're notit's time to do some soul-searching. There's nothing women with emotional baggage with being single, but is it what you really want. And if it's not, what's making you hesitate when you come across the possibility of love. In the end, it all comes down to trust. Want to leave that baggage behind. Allow yourself to trust again.

Lily is a member of Wesleyan University's class of 2016, where she double majored in government and sociology. She never lets you out of her sight and she ain't got no friends. The real gift I wanted was to be relieved of the emotional labor of a single task that had been nagging at the back of my mind. Some of us have trouble accepting what happened in the past and how things turned out because of that. The whole explanation took a lot of restraint. Muster the courage to deal with these issues. In his mind, he was doing the thing I had most wanted—giving me sparkling bathrooms without having to do it myself. Thoughts or comments on this post?